What a Homemaker is to me

I consider myself to be a homemaker and according to Wikipedia I am. But what does it really mean to be a homemaker. I know it means to run or manage a household as your primary job, but to me it isn’t just that.

To me being a homemaker means creating a home. A home people want to come to. One that my family feels comfortable and safe in. To me it means having a home that is welcoming to others. Having a home that is clean and cozy.

Home

To me being a homemaker means that it is my job to make sure that our days run as smooth as I can possibly make them run. This includes meal planning, laundry, shopping, cleaning and giving guidance.

When my husband and I decided that it would be best if I quit my job and raise our family I fantasized about what my days would be like. It sounded great cleaning, crafting, playing with my kids, exploring with them and just hanging out… almost to good to be true. And of course it was. For the most part I was living in a fantasy world. When I was at home with just one child it was easy. So easy that I kind of felt guilty that my husband had to go to work every day and I got to stay home with our son and be a homemaker. I loved it.

Then came our second son and things became tough to say the least. I could barely keep up with the laundry, our floors went months without being mopped and I don’t even want to talk about our bathrooms and showers. My oldest son spent most of his days playing by himself and watching cartoons. It drove me crazy, I think this is part of the reason I had a hard time connecting with my second son. All I could think about was how badly I wanted to clean my house and hang out with my other son. I was stuck holding a colicky baby every day all day for nearly 6 months straight. Life sucked.

Now I am at a point where I am beginning to enjoy my job as homemaker again. Not every day as a stay at home mom is fun. Let’s be real… most days are the exact opposite of fun. What I want to take away from these years as a homemaker and stay at home mom is not that I managed my household but I created a loving home for my family. This is what I consider to be the most important part of my job.

Some of my most memorable years as a child are the years that my mom or dad were off of work. There was a year my dad was on disability due to a car accident… I loved it. He was home every day with us. He taught me a lot during that time. I might have been 8 or 9 at the time. He taught me how to sweep, how to do laundry and how to do dishes. It was a lot of fun. Then there was the year when my mom was off of work. She was a hairdresser and got carpel tunnel and had to have surgery and was retrained to be a pharmacy technician. I was in high school at that time. It was so nice having her around when we came home from school. She was home every evening and we ate dinner as a family, the house was clean and candles were lit. It was such a “homey” environment.

These memories make me realize that being a stay at home mom or a homemaker while my children are small is important but it is also important to me that I am home as they get older. I do think I will reenter the workforce at some point but it will most likely be on my terms. Meaning it has to fit into our lives.

When you think of a Homemaker what comes to mind?

❤ Sarah

H

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10 thoughts on “What a Homemaker is to me

  1. Everything that you have written is a great description of what a homemaker is. My memories of my mom being home was that of safety. I knew, that no matter what, she was there waiting for us at the end of the day. She always kept the house clean, had meals made for us at the end of the day, took care of us completely. The one thing that she did do that I wish was a TAD bit different, was she did EVERYTHING for us….so, it wasn’t until I was in the Navy and out on my own, that I figured out how to do laundry. I am also not the best housekeeper (almost as if I think my momma will come and clean up behind us) haha. But, I appreciate all that she did for us and her sacrifices.
    I am so glad that we are blessed enough that I can stay at home with our kids. You are right, not every day is fun. Add to that, our middle baby and her Aspergers and all that entails with that….but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Even now, that I am back in school with ideas of becoming a teacher some day, I feel like I need to continue to be here with and for them until they are much older. If that means that my goals have to be put on the back burner for a while longer, that is okay.

    • That’s funny what a shock it must have been when you entered the navy!!

      It’s so cool that you have been able to go back to school and pursue something for yourself. Your kids are getting older so that helps make it easier.

      My girlfriends and I have talked about how now is not the time to be searching for jobs or things that we “think” will make us happy. All it does is make our job at home more aggravating like our kids are getting in the way of other things, but really other things get in the way of our job at home.

  2. My mom stayed home when we were little. I always loved it, but don’t think I realized how much until I was older. My mom came to PTA meetings and school functions. She managed the hosuehold funds. Her coupon binder was an old shoe box with cardboard cut outs…ha! She helped with school projects and I distinctly remember the kitchen table being covered in papers and crap every day when I got home for school. BUT, every night at dinner the table was cleared off and we ate together. I can also say I am glad my mom didn’t have Facebook when I was growing up…I can’t IMAGINE what her statuses would say…or maybe I can!

    • I love her coupon binder.. Mine are beat up envelopes because I am to cheap to get the baseball card holders! I absolutely love that you have those memories of her being there. It’s hard to understand the importance of our parents being around when we are young but as you get older you definitely realize how nice it was, even when you were a teen and didn’t really want them around. The kitchen table is like a magnet to “stuff”

  3. I’m not a homemaker per se, but a lot of the duties of one fall to me in our family because I only work part-time, Even still, balancing all the household chores, and personal fitness, and my part-time job, and my career goals; it all adds up and you get to wondering where the time went each day. We don’t have kids, but I imagine they are a full time job themselves. I’m glad you’re back in a place where things come together more easily.

  4. Clean and cozy. I like it. You want your home to be clean, but you don’t want it to be a museum either. I am practically a stay-at-home mom (I am a part-time waitress at a diner a few evenings a week), and you’re right, it’s not all relaxation. I stay up late so I can tend to the baby while my husband sleeps, and so I often don’t wake up till late morning or afternoon (which really sucks during summer). I love your photo–that just bespeaks of the kind of home you describe.

    • It is not relaxing at all. It’s quite the opposite as we know. I couldn’t imagine having a home that was uncomfortable because it’s to staged. Who wants that?? Getting out a few nights a week to work sounds nice, Getting to mingle with people and make some cash. How old is your baby? I don’t miss those sleepless nights…at least not yet.. I’m sure as they get older I will long for those baby days 🙂

  5. I am not the best homemaker in the world, but I do my best to keep up with a nice home. It is nice that we don’t have to be embarrassed to have friends over at least. 🙂 I remember my mom always having the house nice and clean, and I remember smelling fresh bread as I walked up the sidewalk after school.

    My kids don’t get those kinds of memories. Most nights it’s a miracle if I get dinner on the table (thank goodness for my crock pot!) between my work, the farm and my somewhat unpredictable health. But I do the best I can, and that has to be enough. 🙂

    • It is good enough! I don’t think there is a perfect homemaker because life is messy and unpredictable! As long as we try and live happy lives that should be good enough. I would love to come home to fresh baked bread!! What’s funny is the things I remember about my parents from when I was young they don’t really remember and are kind of shocked that those are the memories that stick out to me. Makes me wonder what our kids will remember about these days.

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